Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Blame


There was a snake in one of two streets.
At times it was before one and then the other,
trying to convince the other part of me
to turn left right at the first tree,
bite and eat.

Yeah, that’s me in the middle,
with two eyes but one I shared
with the other half of me!

And with one mouth that I had also to share!
So the other half of me bit, but I swallowed.
And now I saw my naked shadow striped.

They removed the snake from the streets,
away from the fruit trees!
And now the streets are more naked than we;
and although that snake left,
we are doing the crawling;
but only because I blame the other half of me!

Oh, how straight and up right I would walk
if I just took the blame and put it behind the cross
I refuse to cross and to bear!







Notes of a Savior’s book page:

To Explain Existence


The inside is the emptiness of the outside; the outside is the full emptiness of the inside; and when we try to explain things, we become pieces; and it is these pieces that make us whole;

Existence, all which is and all which is not, cannot explain itself; that’s the very reason we were created: to explain existence and at the same time explain ourselves; but we must also create so that our creations can explain us because creation makes God…



To the Christians

To the Christians, an eBook by Forester de Santos:



Time, it began with a bang! And ended again in fusion, the same way it was, just like an illusion, with you in the middle and I at the other end.

Time, it is a joker, sometimes a broker, giving me less for more when I want less; and giving me more for less when less is what I want.

And the joke is on me as I am in time as time is in me; and as soon as I realized myself and smiled, and wanted more of me, I ran out of the last mile.

I Don't ExistI Don’t Exist Here’s, an E-book:

Hammer in the Head!


Chapter 1 – one early morning

One early morning, a couple of days after both our uncles left back to the States with their families and leaving us with the feeling of emptiness and loneliness, Ricky and I were playing behind our house. He found a hammer. He picked it up and sunk it at my right side of my head! Immediately, I dropped to the ground. I lost consciousness…

After six long weeks, I awoke! But I couldn’t move. I could see and hear, but I couldn’t move! It felt as if I had no body below my neck. I knew I was in a hospital because of the rotten smell of medicine and because of the rotten smell of sick people!

When the nurse in blue saw that I was awake, she immediately called the doctor. He started to touch and to poke me as if I were tender meat for the oven. He looked into my eyes and I was very frightened. He turned around to my Grandmother and to my uncles and to my aunt Rachel, Ricky’s mother. Mother wasn’t present.

“The child was fortunate. He has a hole in the head, but it will heal. He is blind in the right eye. He lost some hearing in the right ear. He is also numb in the left side of his body. He may have trouble talking and understanding others,” said the doctor.

But what really bothered me was what the good doctor was not telling!

Chapter 2 – my life at five

My life at five years old was numb, but after a couple of more long weeks in the hospital, I began to limp around. I couldn’t run like a wild child with joy, but I could move around on my own! My speech was hard to understand. I spoke in an odd way. I spoke too fast to be really understood. I also couldn’t grab with my left hand or put pressure on my left leg, or else I would fall!

I had also developed a lack of confidence and I also had a learning problem. But the true love and support of my sweet Grandmother made a big different in my numb life!

Chapter 3 – After a couple of weeks

After a couple of more weeks, the County Hospital let me go! I was now going home. I haven’t yet arrived to the door, when I saw little Ricky standing there with a wide smile. He had destroyed my life, but I didn’t notice then. He had destroyed my life and perhaps the lives of my future friends and my families and my children, but I didn’t notice then.

I limped to him and he laughed. We stayed outside and played. I’ve forgotten what really had happened. A child can only stay angry or even sad for so long. How come the adults can’t learn or remember that simple act or fact?


Hammer In The Head’s book page, it is free:

The Woman Lied with her Womb


The woman lied to me with her womb; that is how she conquered me; and I left and forgot my sweet dreams of conquering my destiny; and even I left the best of friends without a goodbye; my family I didn’t hear or gave time.

I housed the woman and her inflated womb; when it no longer kept inflating, I became a father, the happiest guy on the earth I knew!

She lived the lied to the fullest; but I, thinking I was happy loved them both, her and the small one.

But the lying lady was not happy no matter how much the love of my foolish heart was showed.

Even though she had me like mud on her feet, the lie that she lived was swallowing her in pieces as it also had swallowed me but whole; and into the arms of another man with a smaller heart, the liar went to be comforted from her sadness.



Letters from a forester, a free eBook

by Forester de Santos


The Fault


She fills my plate with more that I can eat, and because I cannot eat more than I can see, I am filled with emptiness.

She fills my drinking cup until it spills, so that when I touch it, my thirst is taken away by anger; why the destruction?

She fills my bed with coldness because of the lack of sensation, even though her body is naked,
naked next to me.

She dares to say it’s my fault, once and always; but when I first started, I first began with a caress and finished moist and tired; and thirsted for warm flesh.

The night as the day, without a word!

Why the self-destruction? How ugly can we be that we must destroy everything that has a memory of us?

The Anger


with my right fisted hand I kept a dairy;

I hit and hit, and hit some more, the other hand!

the death that walks upon my soul has given me the anger,

the anger that punches hearts and that closes my windows

to laughter;

the anger with it habits of drinking is here;

if I shall find you, it isn’t I who dreams;

it must be some lost soul who with every desire to live,


Oh! let thunder and fire cover your name;

let one thousand memory cells die;

and let not a single drop of your soul,

not a single one, upon mine!

It is the anger of knowing that I love

you and I cannot have you…